As a fiction editor as well as an author, one of the most common problems I find among writers is that they have a tendency to tell me too much information without showing me anything of substance.
‘Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.’
Arguably, this is Anton Chekov’s most famous quotation, and it’s the one that is usually rolled out by speakers to illustrate what we mean by Showing and not Telling.
But, what does that actually mean? And, how can we apply this concept to our writing?
Let’s break it down.
The moon is shining. Right. It’s a bit flat, isn’t it? It doesn’t really bring me into the story. My first reaction is: ‘So… what?’ I couldn’t care less, if I’m honest.
The moonlight glinted on the broken glass. WHOA! Suddenly, my imagination is fired up. Now, I am full of questions:
- How did the glass get broken? Has it happened recently, or is the character in a building that is derelict and has been neglected?
- Is the character indoors or outdoors? Has someone escaped from within the building, or have they broken in from outside?
- Did the glass break deliberately or was it an accident? Was there a struggle?
- We know it’s nighttime, but is the moon full? Should the character be looking out for werewolves in the vicinity?
With the second sentence, your reader has been sucked into the world created by the author, rather than skirting around on the periphery. See the difference?
Another way to show rather than tell is by using your character’s emotional reactions. Consider the following:
- Tania broke the heel of her shoe. as she walked down the street.
- “Damn these new shoes!” Tania sucked in her breath as she twisted her ankle, wincing from the pain. She glanced down to see the heel had snapped off and cursed again under her breath.
We don’t have a lot of empathy for Tania in the first example. Again, the ‘So what?’ reaction applies.
In the second, however, we imagine how it feels to twist an ankle; we’ve all done it and it hurts! By sharing your character’s emotions at each and every turn, your reader goes through them at the same time.
If you struggle to think of words for emotions, allow me to recommend one of the best writing books I have ever come across: The Emotion Thesaurus, by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi. My copy is dog-eared, I use it so much.
The key is to bring the reader into your world – make them see/hear/feel what your characters sees, hears and feels.
A tried and tested technique is to imagine your story is being acted out for television. (Chance would be a fine thing, right?!) Think of your scene, and the actor playing your character. When the camera zooms in for those close-up facial reactions, how do they appear? Surprised? Shocked? Horrified? And, crucially, how do these emotions manifest? (NB: Don’t forget that in genre fiction, we are usually in the head of that main character, so we can’t see what they look like, unless they happen to pass a mirror. Points of View will be the subject of another post. Stay tuned!)
You have one job as a writer of fiction: keep the reader turning the pages. That’s it. If your reader is sucked into the world of your characters, living the story through their actions and reactions, they won’t want to put down your book.
Good luck!
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Liz Hurst is a member of the Chartered Institute of Editors & Proofreaders. Contact her at: EMHEditorial@gmail.com about a free quotation for your manuscript.
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